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Sprenghlægilegt svar móður við „brjóstahaldaralausa klúbbnum“

Ritstjórn Bleikt
Mánudaginn 22. júlí 2019 12:30

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Það er nýtt trend á Instagram, „brjóstahaldaralausi klúbburinn,“ sem snýst um að vera ekki í brjóstahaldara. Ekki flókið. Instagram fyrirsætur og áhrifavaldar eru að taka þátt í trendinu og birta myndir jafn óðum.

Mömmubloggarinn Laura er þekkt fyrir að vera hreinskilin og sýna mömmulífið eins og það er í raun og veru. Hún heldur úti vinsælum Facebook og Instagram síðum, Knee Deep in Life, og deilir þar myndum og myndböndum sem hafa slegið í gegn. Hún endurgerir myndir frá stjörnum og áhrifavöldum og gerir þær á raunverulegri máta.

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GOOGLE GOALS…. SAGGY TITS CLUB…. When you have to quickly pop one tit in and leaving the other saggy sister swinging in the wind before it tucks and rolls back out of the top because age isn't on isn't on your side anymore and the pair of pricks are desperate to keep your belly button company. Other mums: what did you do the night your kids broke up from school? Me: I cut up my sons school top and wrote saggy tits club in it so I could make my husband take a photo of me while he complained I only ever shave my vag for my blog and I told him that's because shaving for my blog never ends in a awkward boner in my back when I go to bed. True story. Roll forward to September when none of the children from Elliotts class will be allowed back to our house for dinner out of fear I'll whip a tit out mid chew of a chicken nugget. @popstantot #googlegoals #funnyphotos #nobraclub #saggytitsclub #nailedit #summerready

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Laura ákvað að hún vildi ekki vera partur af „brjóstahaldaralausa klúbbnum“ heldur er hún í „sigin brjóst klúbbnum.“ Hún deildi mynd af sér og sagði í færslunni að þökk sér signum brjóstum hennar þá gat hún ekki náð eins góðri mynd og fyrirsæturnar á Instagram.

Laura deildi sinni mynd ásamt mynd Pauline Tantot, sem er ein af fjölda kvenna sem hafa tekið þátt í trendinu.

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@thenobraclub 💦

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Færsla Lauru hefur slegið í gegn. Ein móðir skrifaði: „Ég er svo í þínum klúbb! Eftir að hafa eignast þrjú börn eru brjóstin mín eins og gólf kúlur í sokkum. Takk fyrir að halda þessu ekta.“

Hér að neðan má sjá fleiri sprenghlægilegar endurgerðir frá Lauru. 

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GOOGLE GOALS…. BUM BAG FUN BAG…. When you get a couple hours alone and you want to relive your youth but all you did was wedge someone else's bikini so far up your arse you think there might bit a little piece of it that stays with you forever. What did Laura do on her day off from the kids? A. Get her fringe cut because it looks like a blind squirrel went to town on it with the kitchen scissors?? B. Get lunch, because it's now 1pm and she's starting to grow wild hairs out of her arse?? C. Go into @newlook and hoof a bikini that clearly wasn't designed for a mature set of fanny lips?? D. Tidy the shit hole that is her house??? You know you're living your best life when the shop assistant looks on at you in horror as you walk out of the changing room having just completed the full dance routine to Britney Spears Toxic in a bikini that smuggles more crack than a Columbian drug lord. I lived through the 80s guys, I can categorically confirm nothing good comes from a bum bag. @herponythelabel @zoe_therobot #googlegoals #funnyphotos #bikini #fannypack #bumbag #nailedit

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How do you measure success?? You look in mirror and tell yourself what a kick ass, powerhouse, mother fucker legend you are! Coz someone needs to and we shouldn't be waiting for another bastard to tell us! This time last year I kept telling myself if I made it big in the blogging world I'd feel different! I'd know I was doing it right! I'd absolutely take a one way ticket to funky town where all the cool kids hang. Fast forward a year and I'm that woman who cello tapes tortilla wraps to her tits just in the hope she'll get at least a couple of laughs. I am that woman who is still trying to believe she belongs in funky town, because it turns out I'm really fucking weird on a scale that some of the cool kids find terrifying. I get it, no one should talk about their anus and vagina on the scale that I do, and yet here I am all "made it" and trying my best to disguise my fart acting because I guess nothing changed! I still never shave my minge, my kids still scream like utter wankers, and I still fucking hate cleaning my house. I've realised that my success doesn't depend on any outside being, it is all dependant on how much I believe in myself. I've realised that this environment is all smoke and mirrors because it looks on the outside like one massive orgy, its not! I was the person this time last year believing she would accept herself more if she just had that extra like, the new follower or a private message from a famous person. I've come to realise even famous people take a shit on a daily basis, they get spots on their arse too, so lets probably stop putting people on pedestals and remember we are all human and actually status counts for fuck all because popularity doesn't change who you are if you don't see what they see. So, let's just take a moment to look around at all the people we surround yourselves with on social media, and remember no one has a fucking clue what is next. There is no "made it" status that'll change who we are on the inside. I can't sing, I dance like someone is performing an exorcism on me and I often get told I swear too much. Guys, if this feral bitch can belong somewhere in this community of talent and status, so can you.

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GOOGLE GOALS…. NATIONAL BIKINI DAY… when you need to remind yourself 3 things- 1. Stop waiting for the perfect body and put that fucking bikini on! 2. Start believing you are beautiful just the way you are. 3. Apologise to Mum for cutting up those knickers she lent you because you accidentally pissed yourself that time. …. also 4. Buy another bikini because your husbands exact words were "your lips are out and I'm not talking about the ones on your face. I'm just saying, they look like they're praying because that must be chaffing the shit out of your poor vag." What can I say??? Its just one massive jizz fest in this house with all his sexy chat about my dry vag…. Ladies, its national bikini day. Be proud, be brave, be beautiful, but most of all …. BE YOU! @gubernatar #googlegoals #funnyphotos #nationalbikiniday #bikiniready #summer #nailedit

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GOOGLE GOALS… HE DROPPED ME… When you're climbing him like a tree and get within pube to chin touching distance but in his words "you're like a lubricated trout on speed" and he drops you, but its alright because you bribed the 8 year old with sweets to take the photo. I was going to go with the tag line of when budgety constraints means you can't afford the beach so you use the paddling pool, but all of a sudden I don't think anyone is paying attention to the swimming pool that looks like satan took a shit in it. I'm not sure what is more mesmerising, my terrified face or my majestic fringe. I starting to believe I'm going to void our life insurance soon…. @aloyoga #googlegoals #funnyphotos #yogapants #paddlingpool #summernights #nailedit

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